In our sessions, we combine techniques from various approaches of psychotherapy to achieve the best result, i.e.:
Certain events can trigger anxiety and require extra support to go through them smoothly.
Family expansion when we marry with a partner with children, and family shrinking when we divorce or when grown-up kids leave home, these events test our attachment patterns and sometimes bring up old fears and anxiety.
Losses or changes in our abilities, energy level, or body functioning trigger grieving process and drive us through a roller coaster of various feelings.
Changes in our career, such as being fired or being moved to another country or town may initiate grieving and test our self-esteem.
We install and enhance personal and interpersonal support sources, increase resilience and form appropriate expectations.
Sometimes relationships make us sick.
Frequent heartbeat and sweats, feeling of emptiness in the chest, thoughts which won’t stop, trouble falling asleep and sleeping though the night, teeth clenching, headache, pain and tension in the stomach, skin rash, dizziness, choking, shallow breathing, these symptoms sometimes point to feelings which did not receive enough attention and compassion. These might be “positive” as well as “negative” feelings. Joy, satisfaction, being proud, but also sadness, anger, aversion, and fear can manifest as unclear sensations or physical symptoms.
Anger outbursts and unstoppable sad tears often point to anger and sadness which have not been integrated and accepted.
Burn-out, lack of energy, aversion towards one’s obligations and apathy can point to poor boundary regulation and poor emotion recognition.
Low self-esteem, doubts about yourself, anxiety and fear can point to abusive or unsafe relationships.
We set the link between the unclear signals, physical and emotional, and feelings.
Sometimes we do things which we promised no to do, or abandon healthy communication style. Sometimes we do things which we do not understand, or say things which we later regret.
In therapy we can look at the situation from different perspectives. We study the reaction of each partner and with a bit of psychodrama or internal family systems work reveal expectations, values and needs of all parties involved.
In therapy sessions we discover that it is absolutely OK to have conflicting feelings. When we feel two opposite things, it does not mean that we are a bad person or that we are weak or lacking a backbone. Absolutely not!
Conflicting feelings arise from two (or more) distinct needs which are not necessarily in conflict between themselves.
When we let conflicting feelings reveal themselves, we let them guide us to our real core, to something that we need deeply. And there we find a way to integrate our needs into a meaningful and inspiring plan.
People with whom we form relationship, be it personal or professional, can sometimes trigger our attachment patterns, violate our boundaries, touch our old traumas, project their feelings and manipulate ours.
In a way, when we enter a relationship, we bring our previous experiences of how we felt interest, approached the other to show our interest, how we formed connection and relied on the other, how we felt dissatisfied and said farewell, or how we lost our connection and mourned this loss. And so does our partner.
If we inattentively project our old patterns to each other, we quickly get stuck in the relationship.
It is like dancing salsa but following our own idea of what style you are dancing and which music is being played. Steps and turns are there, but they are not synchronized between partners and are not supported, welcomed or reciprocated by the other side.
In couple therapy we learn to discover our connection style, as well as our projections and expectations from the partner.
In principle, saying “yes” might be is as clear and effortless as saying “no.”
But sometimes we feel that “yes” makes us too weak or immoral whereas saying “no” makes us scared and guilty.
In our sessions, we learn to say “yes” with curiosity and “no” with respect and self-compassion.
I am attentive to the details of your dialogue and focus very much on the feeling in the here and now. We try to convert every thought and argument into felt experience which takes its place in your body in the here and now. I am guiding you with my reflections and associations.
If we discover traumatic experiences, we soothe them with proper respect and compassion.
If we stumble upon a conflict, we pause to live through it. We check whether we are maintaining the role of adult in our conflict. We take care of our inner child and let the power of our adult selves guide us and discover a solution for what is important.
We start with the central vision of client-centered psychotherapy that every human strives to grow and do the best in their situation.
When a person perceives their situation, talents and resources adequately, they will act successfully and will take a good care of themselves and their environment.
When the perception of the situation or talents is incomplete, people would choose actions which would make them overwhelmed and maladapted to their situation.
This view means that as a therapist I do not need to give you an advice or concrete plans for an action.
I do not need to burden your incomplete view on yourself with my incomplete view on your situation.
I rather support your perception, let you discover your weaknesses and strength, your incompetencies and talents, which you can use to guide your self-care and decision making.
We use the idea of the Gestalt psychotherapy about repressed and unfinished actions.
We all have experience of repressed actions and desires. We wanted to take sweets from the table but dad did not allow us. We wanted to say something mean to our parents but preferred staying polite. We wanted to say no to a partner but were scared he/she would abandon us, so we said yes instead. These repressed actions turn into fear, anger, pain, or disgust.
The suppressed reactions – in a form of feelings – influence decision making bypassing conscious reasoning. This means that to understand our motives, we sometimes need to go back and resolve our past situations to heal from fears and pains.
This is a courageous work and we do it with compassion and deep respect.
We see personal well-being a function of the quality of contact with ourselves, our environment, and other people.
We learn what gives us personal safety and comfort and what drives us to sacrifice our personal, autistic comfort to seek the company of other people. We discover what we need from the others, how we bargain for it and how we form the bonds with our significant others.
We learn to seek and enjoy the warmth of contact with others.
We use insights of cognitive behavioral therapy on learning. During the sessions we train ourselves to improve our recognition of our emotions, make better decisions, update our habits, test our perceptions and emotional reactions. The stable result is best achieved when sessions are held regularly.
We use polyvagal theory, EMDR, and body-oriented techniques to treat psychological trauma. We support innate healing processes by optimizing sensory and emotion regulation.
We integrate knowledge on neurodivergence.
Neurodivergent nervous systems can be hyperreactive, producing overly intense sensations, emotions, and actions.
Or they can be hyporeactive, producing dull sensations, flat emotions, and sluggish actions.
Neurodivergent brains work differently from the brains of neurotypical patients, and for them we use different therapeutic interventions.
Each session lasts 60 minutes. We work bi-weekly, but sometimes in crisis the sessions can be held more often.
I’d like to make sure that we are a good match for each other. Please schedule a 15-minute call and we will discuss your help request, my relevant expertise, and practicalities such as possible moments for appointments and a need for online sessions.